Missing Mr. Right

On May 24, 1998, I hit the lottery. No, not SuperLotto Plus or MEGA Millions, but the lottery of love. On that day, I met the man I believe I’ll spend the rest of my life with. I met my husband! I used to tell my older sister that I’d hit the lottery before I’d ever meet the right guy. Yes, finding Mr. Right had become an arduous task. It was tenuous at best. I had a special knack for picking men who were emotionally and physically unable to commit.

Fed up, like the character Cassandra in my new novel “Married in the Nick of Nine,” I resorted to a dating service. It was before online dating had become popular. This was an actual bricks and mortar dating club where you go in, fill out a questionnaire, and create a video. Members would come into the club and check out videos like checking out books in a library. The place would be packed. When you found someone you liked, you would make contact, and if the feeling was mutual, they would accept your request. I met a few guys and even dated one for over a year. I actually thought he was the one, until my girlfriend blurted out “He’s just not that into you.” And she was right.

Our birthdays were not far apart, and I had suggested that we celebrate together. He quickly dismissed that idea. We rarely went anywhere, and the few times I stayed over, he made sure I never left anything behind. I guess I should have known he wasn’t into me when I came over one day and was greeted with Cameo’s “Single Life” blasting from his stereo. We eventually drifted apart. It was then that I asked God to send me just a regular guy, a guy who would be available to go to a movie on a Saturday night, a guy who was AVAILABLE. They say be careful what you pray for because you just might get it! On May 24 God answered my prayer.

A girlfriend and I attended a play in Pasadena and decided to get a bite to eat at Coco’s. While waiting to be served, in walked a tall, muscular, breathtaking Adonis. When he walked toward the counter, I erupted into a fit of girlish giggles. He turned and gave me a sweet smile. When my girlfriend returned to our table, I nudged her and she blurted out “My girlfriend thinks you’re fine.” I was mortified, but my dread soon turned into glee. He replied, “I think she’s cute, too.” We ended up exchanging numbers and began dating.

After a month or so this ghastly feeling came over me. I was beginning to feel smothered. This guy was TOO available. I told him and the painful look on his face rendered me a sobbing mess. I realized I had actually fallen for this guy, but I was so used to men not being available, his attentiveness and commitment to the relationship felt strange. If he was into me, something had to be wrong with him, I thought to myself. Actually there was nothing wrong with him. Unlike the commitment-phobes I had dealt with in the past, this man knew who he was and what he wanted. I was at a crossroads. I decided I deserved to be loved and I let him love me. Thank goodness I did. It sends shivers up my spine to think that I almost missed out on Mr. Right.

What about you? Are you chasing an unavailable guy or gal? Is there someone who is kind, decent, and loving, that you’re running away from? Could you be fleeing “The One?” Think about it. You might be missing Mr. Right.
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